Kaine is one of the hottest girls in Nier, from looks to personality. She’s kind of everything I like in a girl. She’s hot, has a sharp tongue, likes to talk shit, not afraid to be an ass, and she has a DICK! Everything you would want in a girl. Now, with her having a dick, she’ll need to take care of it from time to time. And with her being a monster that most people don’t like, she’d have to do it in not the most comfortable of places. Yoko Taro made sure to write up something about Kaine’s manhood and how she needs to take care of it in a short story about a priest who encounters Kaine called Witches' Sabbath. Here’s what’s in it:

She had noticed me by then, so I did my best not to look disturbed. Repeating ‘all men are brothers’ in my mind like a prayer, I showed her a smile. But her gaze was turned downward. I followed it, my eyes were pulled toward what she held in her demonic left hand. The moment I comprehended what it was, all the hairs on my body were standing on end.

What she held in her hand was… a large, engorged male member… yet it was hers. Upon the swarthy organ there were littered many veins, which I could even clearly see throbbing.

She wasn’t merely possessed. She was of both sexes!

"On nights after I kill shades… …I can’t stop myself…"

Lifting her head to face me in the mist, the woman spoke her first words to me. Her eyes were narrowed, her thin lips opened like a thin cut on her face. Her pupils locked onto me as their target, her left hand began to move up and down furiously. Her breathing became even more ragged, and her upturned eyes began to lose their focus. I knew what was coming next.

"Stop it!"

I cried, averting my eyes from the moment of climax.

"Don’t come near me, you… you monster!"

As I scrambled frenziedly away, her shrieking voice seemed to pursue me. It was an ear-splitting wail that seemed to be both laughing and crying.

Scared. I’m scared. Disgusting. Revolting. Hateful. I hate you. Disgusting. Revolting. I can’t understand. I don’t want to understand. Disgusting. I’m scared.

So as you can see, the priest didn’t have any fun with that situation, but that doesn’t mean we can’t. Creators Esk and Derringer, actually recreated this scenario.

So yeah, Kaine jerking off in the woods is canon. Now, time for the big boy question for all you people. Would you have helped Kaine out? I know I wouldn’t have freaked out by seeing that she had a dick. I’d be more surprised that she was doing it outside. After that shock, I think I would totally go over there and jerk her off. Who knows, she might not mind jerking me off or us frotting together. Kaine is just too hot to let this chance slip by. She’s jerking off in the woods at night. I feel like her horniness is high enough to let a stranger jerk her off. So I’m going to take that chance.

What would you do if you saw Kaine jerking off in the woods? Do you think the priest over reacted? Do you know what frotting is? Tell us in the comments.