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"What If Hentai Rules Applied to the Real World?" Creative-Writing Contest Winner
By Paul Fidika • 6 years ago

Our first contest was a creative-writing contest, with the topic of 'what if hentai logic were applied to the real world?'. We received over a dozen awesome entries from you guys, and this is the story our editors picked:

It’s been 70 days since the great "Hentai Convergence." Somehow hentai logic leaked into what we call “reality” and has completely ruined modern society as we know it. I've been locked in my room for the past weekend, and have no intention of leaving until absolutely necessary. Everyone thought the new hentai-world was going to be great at first; you could talk to almost any girl and they’d find a reason to fuck you. Waitresses would wink at you, tsundere-athletes would call you an idiot but ask for your number “for the team’s sake”. But The Convergence only grew more powerful and more destructive in time. My best friend started turning into a trap on the 29th day. He changed his look and started estrogen injections, and let me tell you, that shit works better than ever due to hentai logic. I dare not text him for fear of not being able to resist that tight trap ass. It’s hard to believe that someone who called you a “gay cartoon-loving weebo” could become so damn hot.

Speaking of which, I've had to isolate myself from my family. I knew when my sister tried to convince me that "incest is wincest" that my life was over. I’m sure my father already took her around the house and gave her the ol’ 1-2 ahegao special. My mom’s a teacher at my high school, and I don't even want to imagine how many dicks she sees in a day.

Don’t even think about searching for help either. Neighborhood watches across the country have turned into groups of MILFS that patrol the streets, looking for inexperienced young men who have dared venture into the outside world. The police no longer care about anything; authority is obsolete. President Trump has openly supported hentai, and approved legislation for legalizing marriage with fictional video-game characters. The loli I ordered off Amazon.com is expected to arrive in a couple days… I chose the “sadistic” type in hopes that she’ll accidentally kill me.

If anyone is reading this, I don’t want your sympathy. I know at this point that I’ve read enough hentai to deserve this. I use to get the best faps from the lesbian doujins, and now my girlfriend has abandoned me for another girl at the gas station. I’m a lonely soul, but I have found the answers to my lifelong questions. Traps ARE gay, yuri is better than yaoi, and most importantly… SHIT! I think someone’s at my door. If it’s another fucking yandere bitch, I might not make it out alive this time. Stay strong friends, and keep your dick where you can see it.

~Sho