When I was about 6 years old, I distinctly remember getting a gift that changed my life forever. A PlayStation 2. You know, the original thicc model, and the very first games I played were FIFA 2002, some Formula One game, and Tekken Tag Tournament. I still don't care for FIFA or racing games, but Japanese fighting games with banging music, complicated plots and a bunch of waifus on the roster? Count me the fuck in.
I've been a Tekken fan for as long as I remember and it really was a big deciding factor in my taste in games, aesthetics and women. So when Pornhub released a list of the top 10 most searched Tekken characters on their site, I had to give my thoughts on it. So who are the most popular Tekken waifus? Let's find out!
10. Ling Xiaoyu
Since Tekken 3, Xiaoyu has certainly embodied the genki schoolgirl archetype, and more often than not has the outfit to match. Despite being Chinese she's such a weeb she speaks Japanese in a world where virtually everyone speaks in their native language, and some of her story endings are straight up anime shorts. It makes sense that Xiaoyu would attract perverts.
I get the feeling that whoever compiled this list for Pornhub may not be as familiar with Tekken as I am, since there are actually 3 characters in the series named Kazama.
Firstly there's Jun Kazama (right), an environmental activist that has only appeared in one canon game before her death just before the events of Tekken 3, but is such a fan favorite she reappears in the non-canon Tekken Tag series complete with brand new moves, outfits and an evil alter-ego known as Unknown.
But there's also Jin Kazama 9left), son of Jun and Kazuya Mishima, who becomes the defacto poster boy of Tekken from the third game onwards. His brooding attitude and edgy Devil Jin persona have no doubt earned him a lot of fans.
As for the third Kazama? Don't worry, I'll get to her.
This slinky Egpytian beauty is almost as fun to watch as she is to play. Her unique fighting style involves a lot of contorting & writhing around on the floor, kinda like Voldo from Soul Caliber but infinitely hotter. No doubt her recent addition to the Tekken 7 roster via DLC has caused a resurgence in people looking for Zafina porn.
Earlier I speculated that whoever made this list may not be a full Tekken fan, and it shows here once again. There is no character named Ryona in Tekken. Not the games, not the non-canon spin-offs, not the anime, not the terrible live-action movies. I can see why they inferred that people searching for "Tekken Ryona" might be looking for lewds of a character, but in this context it refers to a fetish involving seeing people getting beat up. And a fighting game like Tekken is the perfect medium to explore that fetish through: just set up practice mode against your waifu and mash away on the controller with one hand, leaving the other free for more important matters. And yes, that's me speaking from experience.
6. Alisa Bosconovitch
Who doesn't love a good robot waifu? Not only does Alisa have jet thrusters, rocket arms and chainsaw hands but she also has a detachable head that can easily be put to good use. Her and Lars are often paired together, seeing as they're both the protagonists of Tekken 6's Scenario Campaign mode.
5. Lucky Chloe
One of the newer & more controversial characters, series creator Katsuhiro Harada got a lot of shit on Twitter from all sides when he unveiled a character for Tekken 7 that turned out to be a white Jpop idol that spoke fluent Japanese. At least her design is far from boring.
4. Asuka Kazama
The third member of the Kazama family, Asuka is a hotheaded schoolgirl descended from a long line of martial artists, as well as the niece of the aforementioned Jun Kazama. There's plenty of porn that shows her with her mortal enemy Feng Wei, her cousin Jin or her archrival...
Emilie "Lili" de Rochefort is everything Asuka isn't. Reserved, rich & graceful, yet still capable of kicking ass. The pair's conflicted personalities have led to more than a few clashes throughout the series, which has predictably given way to a popular yuri pairing.
To me, Eliza represents what I love most about the Tekken creative team: they'll include just about anything and still make it work. A narcoleptic vampire waifu? Why the fuck not? She's proved so popular she got added to the main series as DLC in Tekken 7 after debuting in the non-canon free-to-play Tekken Revolution.
1. Nina Williams
The Queen of Iron Fist herself, this bad bitch assassin has been in more games than anyone else on this list. Since she's been in virtually every game, adaptation and even has her own spin-off game it comes as no surprise that Nina is the most recognisable, and hottest, characters in the franchise. Although I prefer her sister/nemesis Anna, and frankly I'm surprised she didn't end up on this list.
So that's the top 10 Tekken characters according to Pornhub searches. What do you think? Did your mains make it? Who are your favorite Tekken characters? Let us know below!