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What Hurts The Most...
By ImJustThatKinky • 5 years ago


Hey guys. Kinky is on break this week for some personal reasons, so I’ll be stepping in. You may have seen me around before, I’m his friend, Imaginary. This'll be the last time you see this.

was being SOOO close… okay perhaps my singing voice doesn’t come across well through writing. But nah fuck that, what hurts the most is losing something you had personal investment in (barring physical extremes like having an arm chopped off or your dick kicked). Immediately your mind may jump to a close relationship or family member that you had to say goodbye to.  However, these certainly aren’t the only times where you have to accept that something’s over or gone. Losing an account you spent hours building from the ground up, moving away from a town you loved, losing a tournament in something you trained hard for, leaving behind school or college friends, being let go from a job you loved, and of course, finishing an anime that you adored are all instances that can hurt a lot.


You ever get to that dreaded episode twelve and get scared? I know I do. When a rare anime comes along that I thoroughly enjoy, it becomes hard as hell to click that last episode button because I'm aware this may be the last time I view new content for the series. I still have some anime that I never did. Higurashi When They Cry comes to mind. I legit watched every single episode except for the last one. It was such a unique experience, thanks to its genre as well as its different writing structure. You’d watch an episode that focuses on this person for a while, then the next few would focus on different people, and by watching the whole thing you could find little overlaps, clues and such. Point is, I got terribly afraid that I wouldn’t be able to find something quite like Higurashi again so I stopped at the penultimate episode. And to this day, I haven’t gone back to finish it.


A more recent example I have in my memory is Violet Evergarden. For me that show had a slow start, but once it established its “one journey per episode” style, the writing found its footing and I loved it. I kept liking it more and more until an episode where the main character somewhat accidentally/unknowingly teaches a father that life can still go on after losing a child. That shit was plain beautiful in both how the episode was written and animated. And after that episode, I stopped watching. The same fear of losing an anime I liked came back. I thought as long as I don’t continue it, it’s never really going to be “over”, at least for me.



” I do not believe there is a god, but if there is, surely it must be you.” 


As I get older I’m doing better at combatting that shit. You start to realize that as much as you love an anime, other creative projects will eventually be produced that you love too. Maybe not quite in the same way or at the same level, but close. And if they don’t? Well it’s better you die with your favorite shows completed than halfway finished. I’m not about to be on my deathbed wondering whatever happened to Rena or Violet. Say... isn’t winter break coming up for us college kids soon? I think I just figured out how I’m gonna spend it.


Well everybody, that’s it for me. Finals are on the horizon and constantly being around a doujin site doesn’t do wonders for my concentration. At this point Kinky will either return tomorrow or he got the hell out of dodge and is living it up in the Caribbean. If the editing quality goes down and the number of spelling mistakes drastically increases tomorrow, then you know the real Kinky is back in action. As for me, I’m sure I’ll be back again one day. Just don’t forget about your Imaginary friend.