Much to the surprise of the world’s population, my fighting game career hasn’t exactly taken off yet. By now I figured I’d already be buying an index service to have someone personally sort the number of bitches that wanted to get with me due to my world class playstyle. Somehow, I just lose every time to bigDICKER17 online. Not a good look. Luckily, I’ll be transferring esports careers soon thanks to the announcement of the world’s first hentai gaming tournament, featuring the Android game Tits ‘N’ Tanks.
If you have no clue what I’m referring to, go ahead and check out that article first. If you already know what’s up and are dying to figure out how you too can get dommed on by my team’s godlike reflexes and tank warfare strategies (or kick my shit in with no remorse), stay here. So first of all, what is Tits ‘N’ Tanks? It’s an action adventure/strategy mobile game revolving around tanks and hentai girls that has been chosen for a competitive event. Available on Nutaku as of June 7, the game combines 2D and 3D graphics to allow for players to engage in real-time tank combat.
Why not look for yourself?
In case you’re wondering about the variety of girls, there is a faction system with 3 divisions that houses 5 girls each. Therefore there’s a total of fifteen girls each with different active and passive skills to change up the flow of battle. Real talk for a second, this could be a key aspect of shaping the game into something actually competitive if done correctly, similar to the way that the different skills and weapons dramatically change how playing each character feels in Rainbow Six: Siege, even though objective does not change.
Damn, when everybody's so hot, does it fucking matter who I pick?
“Alright bitch, ya got fifteen hoes what other shit do you got?”
Well, the game’s key listed features are as follows:
-Customize and upgrade your tanks, switch their paint patterns and add decoration so you can combat in style
-Fast-paced PvP gameplay
-Create customized rooms for you and your friends to play in
-Enjoy in-game settings: aim assist, joystick support, left-handed and right-handed controls
-Graphic quality tailored for higher and lower end devices to ensure a smooth and satisfying experience
-Captivating hentai scenes
D-day liberation, 1944 (Colorized).
I don’t know if I’m gonna enter this tournament myself as the details for entry are currently unreleased, but either way I’m definitely excited to see what kind of memes will be generated, how the game performs and shapes up on a competitive level, and if this will pave a path for future tournaments involving adult gaming titles.
Are you planning on kicking ass and taking home $25,000? Does the idea of porn tournaments get your jimmies rustled to see who (or what dumbass memes) will come out on top? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
