As a virgin, there are very few sexual experiences that I would currently turn down. A girl wants to hug me so hard it gets hard to breathe? A bit weird, but hell I’m not claustrophobic sure let’s do it. She wants to suck my toes? Again not really something I dream about but sure if that’s the foreplay that leads to sex then whatever, fine by me. The problem with glory holes is that it’s a very conflicting option for me. 

On one hand it’d be awesome to get my dick sucked for once. On the other hand, from a virgin perspective it’s a pretty lame start to a sex life. I have no idea who is on the other side; there’s no connection whatsoever. I’m not waiting around for my first time to be a Hallmark Magic Moment where everything is perfect and it’s the most romantic encounter of all time, but slapping my dick in a stranger’s mouth isn’t exactly my ideal first time either. Not only that, but hell I’m probably the twentieth guy to stick his dick in that hole in that single night. Who knows how paranoid I’d be that said mouth on the other side is really worth messing with. Speaking of which, I can’t fathom having some rando suck my dick where there’s a chance that it could be a guy behind there. So it could be dangerously unsanitary, it could be gay (which is fine but not for my preferences specifically), and it leaves you with a complete lack of connection with the person on the other side. For those reasons I have to say I’m out.

Oh no, the most masterful of bait and switches.

Even if we set up a hypothetical where I KNEW the person on the other side was both a girl and clean, I still don’t know if I’d want to do that as my first time. The way I would have to justify it is it’s better to start low and work your way up to better sexual experiences than it is to have an amazing one right off the bat and always be trying to find a way to relive that magic. Still it’s a hard pill to swallow, but depending on how lonely I was that day I could see myself ultimately saying “fuck it, let’s do it” in that scenario.

Damn but if we're out here exchanging blowjobs for rings maybe I need to start sucking. Money is money.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a glory hole opportunity in real life, however I’m a bit of a homebody so that’s not exactly unexpected. I’m curious to see if any of you guys found one and did the deed though. Have you found and/or tried a glory hole before? Is the idea appealing to you? Would you use one based on my hypothetical parameters from earlier? Find a bathroom, stick your dick into the unknown, and leave a comment below!