Now I know we’re all 500 IQ big brains who would never be dumb enough to get caught investigating some sexy shit, but let’s assume for a second that there’s a possibility that maybe… we did. Once. Gather around everyone. I’d like to share the story of the first time I was found out.

The year is 200X as I forget specifically. As a young dude I’ve figured out that girls are kinda hot and they make my pp hard but I don’t know why. The Internet is a wild and vast place with a huge amount of porn. But there’s a problem: my dad works in IT. He knows exactly what kind of porn is out there and how to stop me from reaching it. Really though, he didn’t have to. The problem was that as a kid you don’t have enough understanding of the world (or technology for that matter) to make sound judgments. I never bothered searching up porn because I wasn’t sure how much he’d be able to track. Does he have alerts sent to his phone? Can he hack into my PC and watch my screen at all times? Knowing that a family member works in IT makes you scared enough to not try anything at all, because you don’t know their capabilities.

Actually what I thought my dad did at work.

But one day I saw a crack in the amour. There was a game called Second Life that I heard was for adults because you could get into some bad, sexy, naughty shit on there. However, merely installing and playing it shouldn’t set off any alarms. It’s not like it’s a porn site after all. I took the risk, made an account, and installed it (careful to delete the registration email and not leave any shortcuts on my laptop’s home screen of course). Within a few hours I was in the game, and I didn’t hesitate to pick “I’m a girl”. Knowing this game was supposed to be sexy I looked for a way to take off my clothes. Minutes later I was in virtual heaven, admiring my naked body. Victory was mine.

Damn, this shit looks way worse than I remember.

Fast forward to a few weeks later. I’ve got some problems registering to a new MMORPG and my dad is helping me figure it out. I’m sitting there cool as a cucumber waiting for him to get it fixed. We’re waiting on an email from the game’s server. Minutes go by. My dad says “it might be labeling it wrong, maybe it’s going to spam or trash” and investigates. And that’s when the gayest thing ever happened. When he looked at the trash section of the email...what was sitting there… but my fucking Second Life registration email. Are you fucking serious? And that’s when I learned that trashing an email merely marks it to be deleted down the road after a certain amount of days. That way you can recover emails that you “delete” by mistake. Sure enough he quickly connected the dots and the next thing ya know, my computer suddenly couldn’t connect to anything but YouTube, Toontown, and Coolmathgames.

My dad's face when he saw that email.

Now I don’t blame my dad at all. I was VERY young when this happened to the point of not really understanding porn, just knowing that it made me feel weird. Installing parental controls was probably the right thing to do. I simply can’t believe that I was so fucking close to getting away with it and I got cucked by such a small detail. Have you had to lay-low while hunting for some porn before? Did you get caught, or did you get away with it? Look over your shoulder first, but then leave a comment below!