Ladies. Gentlemen. Shadows. Grab a gun, point that shit at your head, and get ready to stare down Death in the face one more time. Earlier this year I covered a supposed leak of an upcoming Persona 3 remake where a clip was circulating that showed Yukari scoring a critical hit on an enemy. At the time people weren’t sure if this was real or a fanmade project to stir up the community. Friends, that shit was not fanmade. Today I come here to happily say this trailer proves the upcoming title to be no rumor. It’s on the way, and it’s looking gorgeous.

Details are still a bit slim as this too is rumoured to be a fucked up leak. I’ve heard this was supposed to be for the Summer Game Fest, then I heard it was supposed to be for an upcoming Xbox Showcase, and frankly I don’t give a fuck. All I know is it’s coming out early 2024 and my weiner couldn’t be harder. To give an idea of how much this game means to me, I literally timed my second playthrough of Persona 3 Portable to finish up exactly the night of my REAL high school graduation so that I could “graduate” with the characters from the game, thinking that was the last occasion I’d ever have extra time to spend on a game I’ve played twice already. To this day I haven't touched it since, but goddammit it looks like just when you think you’re out, they pull you back in. I honestly think that your favorite Persona game comes down to which you play first, and which one touches on topics that surround your core values. I’ve always struggled with mortality, death, and the “pointlessness of life” so to speak, and this game was the perfect slap in the face I needed as a teenager to realize that life ain’t no game. Death is always lurking, always hoping you’ll give up the ghost, and it’s up to us to try and live on regardless. Core gameplay wise I’d have to slow my roll (Persona 5 improved the gameplay formula so much), but in terms of raw impact on me as a person, I think this is my favorite game of all time. 

Well everyone, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go fap to some P3 doujins to celebrate. My robot waifu isn’t going to please herself. Uh, unless they added a program for that in the remake… you know I just now realized that this remake should bring back a huge amount of sexual artistic interest in these characters too. God bless Atlus. What a time to be alive. Are you familiar with the Persona series? Do you have a favorite game or waifu in the franchise? Oh, and does anyone give a fuck about the Persona 5 tactics game that also got announced? Beat depression, face hardship, and find your own way to live on in the comments below! 

EDIT: They fucked me over and released the official trailer right after I wrote this, which is what is now linked in the article. So ignore the part about me mentioning the earlier leaked trailer debacle.