I’ve noticed a trend with lewd content on the Internet that over time has begun to make my blood boil. Both in my penis and in my brain. If you’ve spent any amount of time looking at lewd photos of real women, you may notice they are often accompanied by a caption. Something like “I want to be your nurse today” for a sexual picture of them in a nurse’s outfit. Great, harmless, cool. However, oftentimes these captions will change into questions. The most basic, obvious, asinine questions I’ve ever seen.

“Would you fuck me like this?” Yes. “Would you arrest me, officer?” Yes. “Do my boobs look cute in this bra?” Yes. YES GODDAMMIT, STOP ASKING ME. I have come to absolutely despise when a ridiculously attractive, 10/10 girl with a model’s body asks her audience “If they would fuck her”. As if every single mongoloid looking at that picture (myself included) isn’t thinking exactly that. Obviously I hate when either sex does this, but men don’t receive many followers online for their looks or sexiness as the primary driving factor, so I simply don’t run into them doing it as much. But dammit with girls online it’s like a disease that spread across the entire thirst trap ecosystem. And I get it. I know they know it’s a pointless question. They know they’re hot and that their followers are deprived and would smash her ass faster than an office worker heads to lunch at noon. I know this too, and yet it still feels so draining seeing those captions pop up. Thankfully since I’m mainly a doujin reader/JAV enjoyer this conundrum isn’t an everyday occurrence for me, but every time I check Twitter for work purposes I can’t seem to escape at least one “Wud u hav da secks wit hoot gurl” question. I would have yesterday, I would today, and I would tomorrow, and so would every last one of these horny followers, so can we please stop asking them?

God bless you, Michael. The rebellion lives.

At the end of the day I know this is a weird form of pet peeve, but I hope there are some of you out there who have noticed this uprising of redundant self-serving questions and are also driven a little mad by it. Considering its widespread adoption it must work to some degree by raising engagement when people comment saying “yep, I would!” so my only hope is it stops being effective sometime in the near future. Have you noticed these pointless questions becoming the caption for so much lewd content? Do you have a pet peeve surrounding lewd content nowadays that you want to share? Is this a clear sign for me to read more doujinshi? Take a hot picture, post it on Instagram, and ask your followers if the sun rose today in the comments below!