In the world of repetitive romance anime where you spend 12 episodes watching two semi-interesting characters dick around and be nervous every installment, Horimiya has felt like a breath of fresh air. These bitches got together a HOT minute ago at around episode 4ish if I recall and ever since we’ve spent time focusing on the side characters. It’s genius. Someone said, “but what if we made an anime romance with side characters that actually matter?” and for once he wasn’t immediately killed for suggesting something so egregious. That being said, today I wanted to talk about Hori’s kink which was revealed to be some classic rough stuff. 

So far in the series she’s liked when her boyfriend Miyamura disrespects her, calls her some not nice names, and even gets a little physical and slaps her. Much to Miyamura’s dismay as he’s a soft boy who has no idea how to be dominant. Now I wouldn’t quite slap a soft label on me, but I WOULD slap a paranoid one. If my girl started asking me to be a little rougher I’m gonna be on edge. Obviously you don’t want to pile drive her into the concrete while walking down the street, but at the same time if you start saying shit like “bring my phone, dumbo” I doubt that’ll sting hard enough to get anyone going. Overtime the skill can probably be learned and I can see myself achieving a better grasp of what to say and what not to say, but I don’t know what the fuck to do with physical shit. A weak slap will make it SO obvious that you’re a clueless dude who doesn’t want to hurt anyone thus killing the vibe, however a strong slap could be too much and leave her crying, or with a mark on her face, or with you suddenly being single again.

The face she makes when your slap was a little TOO hard.

I think my best plan of attack if my girlfriend said she wanted me to a rough little Chad is to sit her down well in advance of the sex, like a week, and lay out EXACTLY what she’s talking about. Perhaps do some test slaps to gauge the correct velocity of my hand. Whip out the ole Webster and ask what words she wants to be called and what areas I should refrain from addressing. This planning event would be so calculated and brain draining that everyone’s will to fuck would be decimated by the end of it. HOWEVER, I could then give her some time to forget exactly how the discussion went and if we fuck like a week or two later, boom baby we’re golden. I have a list of what to do and how to do it without having to kill the mood and ask every three seconds, and she’s likely forgotten the details enough by that time for it to still be exciting and not feel like I’m following a script line by line. What? Overthinker? Me?

Backup plan: make her slap me so we all suffer together.

Regardless of this non-existent dilemma, I can’t wait for more episodes of Horimiya to come out. It’s really set a standard for romance anime and it’s likely I’ll be using it to help me weed out the trash romance anime that come out every season (and there’s a lot). Could you hit your girlfriend if she wanted it? Are you watching Horimiya? Get together and leave a comment below!