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Scooby-Doo Has a New Waifu
By Yung Namahage • 1 week ago • 13 comments

Cinemas all over the world have been forced to shut due to the whole coronavirus situation. Because of this, many studios are instead choosing to release movies that would've been in theaters on streaming services instead. One such movie is Scoob!, the latest spin on the long-running Scooby-Doo franchise. What makes this movie different to all the other movies and TV series about Scoob and the gang we've had in the last 51 years? An all-star voice cast, a fresh CG art style and a bunch of new and old characters. One new character in particular really caught people's attention.

Fuck the police? Don't mind if I do...

First there was the glamorous Daphne and the cute nerd Velma, then newer waifus were introduced like the Hex Girls and Hot Dog Water. Now there's a hot blond cop by the name of Officer Jaffe, voiced by Christina Hendricks and named after Velma's original VA, Nicola Jaffe. She doesn't play a huge role in the movie (I'll get into that in a bit, consider this a minor spoiler warning) but that hasn't stopped horny artists introducing her to the internet rite of passage known as rule 34.

So, why doesn't she appear in the movie much if she has such a sexy design? Here's why: she's a trap.

No, not that kind of trap. Well, kind of. I mean, "she" does have a dick. But that's because she is a dick. The Dick.

Not just any old Dick. Dick motherfucking Dastardly. The OG Waluigi from Wacky Races appears in Scoob! as the main antagonist, disguising himself as a hot female cop as he stalks the Scooby Gang. He isn't the only non-Scooby classic Hanna-Barbera character in the movie; Warner Brothers are aiming to set up a whole new cinematic universe consisting of remakes of vintage cartoons like Captain CavemanBlue Falcon and, of course, Wacky Races. Here's hoping the HBCU continues to influence the R34 world, assuming it's actually successful. What I'd do for some more Josie and the Pussycats lewds...

Over to you, what do you guys think of Scoob!? Is Officer Jaffe the hottest waifu in Hanna-Barbera history? Is it gay to beat off to her if she's a literal Dick? Drop your thoughts below!