This shit better not count as actual virginity, okay? I don’t want this article title on my gravestone. Listen guys, here’s the deal. It’s Imaginary, I got out of my slave chamber that Kinky holds me in long enough to write about my first experience with an onahole. Well, technically I also got out long enough to talk about it. If you want a longer, more in-depth analysis then you might want to check out the review Kinky and I did down below. We each go over our experiences there in more detail in a podcast format. If you just want a quick look of my time with it, stay here and read on.



Imagine this. I’m sitting there, staring down the onahole. I just took it out of the box, ready to see what all the fuss is about. Now I’m no geometrist, but I immediately get skeptical and worry that I wasted twelve dollars plus shipping. I’m not one to ever brag about dick size, but I was not seeing how this was going to work. My hand was trying to force a flagpole down a rabbit hole. Then I discovered a little trick. For any newcomers to the game out there, I definitely recommend shoving some fingers in your onahole at first if it seems too small. After some digging I got it loose enough to actually work. So, was the effort worth it?

I’ll try to answer some questions I had before experiencing it. Did it feel like a real vagina? Well, sorry to say I’m a loser so I can’t answer that one. Was it better than your hand? I’d say definitely. Even though I could still clearly feel that it was my own hand moving it (unlike the whole “ghost hand” technique people bring up), the foreign textures and some suction staved off how MUCH I could detect that it was my own hand. Don’t expect it to feel like someone else is there with you, essentially. What did it feel like? This material is the weirdest shit in the world. It’s designed to have bumps on the inside which were pretty top tier. It comes with a pack of lube that you 100% need to use or suffer the consequences. Damn it’s hard to explain. For those that haven’t even used lube before (me until today), it’s like you’re fucking a soapy squishy toy. Was it worth the money? Ya know, for basically around $18 total, it was definitely worth it to experience a new sensation or three. The hardest part was waiting around three weeks for it to make it from Japan. I’d say go for it if you’re been debating trying one yourself.

Okay okay I gotta shut up or I’ll spoil parts of our review. Hopefully you feel more knowledgeable about considering buying one yourself. You may think it’s shameful and pathetic, but consider this: I was shameful and pathetic yesterday without using an onahole, and I was shameful and pathetic today using one. If you’re gonna be at rock bottom for a while, you might as well be comfortable.

Do you plan to try out an onahole? Are you already a veteran? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!