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What's The Deal With Anime Figurines?
By WakeUpSnooze • 3 years ago


I didn’t really intend on making a continuation article, but after talking about oppai mousepads I realized there was another big aspect of anime culture that I’ve never understood in my life: figurines. When I think of ultimate weeb I think of three things: katanas, body pillows, and figurines. Tons of people love anime yet very few people I’ve met in my life have much physical merchandise (outside of Kinky but duh he’s like mega weeb). I’ve thought about buying me a sweet little Kallen figure before since I’m such a shill for Code Gayass, however I can’t seem to be able to convince myself to spend the money.


But lord knows sometimes I waver.


Don’t get me wrong, I’m a dumbass with my finances sometimes. I’ve lately become a bit of an audio freak. At one time I had like two sets of earbuds and three headphones. The responsible reader may ask, “Snooze, are you challenged? You only need one of those dude” to which I say, yeah. Pretty much. But in each one, the sound is slightly different. They all perform the same function but they do it slightly differently. My problem with figurines is that they perform no function at all. What will I do with my slightly lewd Kallen figure? Put it on a shelf? Stare at it? Pray to it? Even as a kid, I’d much prefer something like a deck of Yugioh cards which I can play with and interact with (if I actually had friends) rather than an action figure. 



The most I can say in defense of the figures is that hot damn they make some finely detailed ones. When you’re ready to shell out the big boy bucks, an artist is ready to paint the figure with big boy attention to detail. Plus, I could see the fun in actually creating one yourself and putting that up for display. That’s pretty sick. Imagining buying one though, I feel like I’d spend the money, put it on a shelf, go “man that’s cool” and look at my empty wallet wondering what was the point. If it was lewd enough I guess you could try to fap to it, but holy hell I got enough porn to keep up with as it is I don’t need to add jerking off in the corner to a figure like a weirdo to the list.



I ain't saying it's not hot, I'm just saying what's the cost?


At the end of the day, at least anime shirts and apparel can be worn around. Body pillows can be slept on. Katanas can cut shit and be used as a weapon. I don’t know what the fuck a figurine provides. If there’s any enthusiasts in the comments though feel free to share your passion and enlighten me on some good points! Do you own an anime figure? Do you understand the hype around them? Are you just as lost as me? Place your comment on the shelf below!