I’m writing this article on Wednesday, and it’ll be going up Saturday. I hope I will be in an entirely different state by then. You see, I’ve been sick as shit for the past few days. My fault too. I went to a crowded attraction in a downtown city and had the nerve to not shower later that night or the next day. So you better believe somebody had the flu (probably one of those little screaming rugrats) and gave it to me. Last night I could barely sleep... constant tossing and turning. You know the drill. Then I had an idea. Perhaps a little jerk session would knock me right on out.

I am so interested to hear if other people have done this, because it was a fucking awful decision for me. First of all, my head was so foggy from the sickness that I’m pretty sure my dumbass brain forgot to release any happy chemicals whatsoever. Or if it did, it was lost in the fog. Second, the flu makes your whole body ache. Poppin’ off felt a little too much like exercise. I felt like I was lifting weights or something. I stuck with it though because I was determined to snatch up those relaxing feelings from fapping and doze away into blissful sleep. That shit didn’t happen. Even after cumming I just continued to sit there struggling to breathe. The only difference was now I was angry and disappointed that it didn’t help. In fact it made the situation worse.

Joker, nobody looks that good sick. Stop lying.

This whole ordeal got me thinking. When you’re sick, there’s pretty much nothing to fucking do. You just sit there wallowing in sorrow until you get better. Surely considering the excess time that being sick provides, I can’t be the only one who has thought “maybe fapping will take away some of these bad feelings”. Or perhaps it wasn’t so much as the sickness as the desire for sleep that lead me to fapping. I’ve heard of people utilizing masturbation to fall asleep before so I’ll lump that into the discussion here as well. Speaking of which...it’s time for your boi to go back to bed.

Have you ever tried to masturbate while sick? Did it work for you? What about to go to sleep? Send me a motherfucking cough drop and your feedback in the comments below.