Why does it always happen that after you fuck up something, you think back on the situation and everything you could have done better. If this was Stein's;Gate, I could just redo all my failures and  use my newfound knowledge and confidence to conquer them. But sadly, this is the real world and not an anime. So all I can do is bitch about it in this article so you guys don’t repeat my mistake.

It’s not like I want to help you or anything...baka…

So this is what happened right. I’m in a small store with a group of friends. The three of us were chillin' while waiting for our other friend to be done working at the counter. At this time, he was helping three other guys. So there’s seven guys in total in this small store. While we wait for our friend to finish, a girl comes in. Okay, pretty standard. But while she was browsing, she saw something that interested her and said, “Hey, is this a penis bong?” And yes, it was. Then she continued with, “Why is it pink? Dicks aren’t pink. Do you have a flesh color one so it can look like I’m sucking a real dick?” Me, being the virgin that I am, was silent and shocked. I didn’t know girls talked like that, and definitely when there’s seven random guys around. My two friends beside me also were shocked and couldn’t help snickering. But it didn’t stop there, she continued to browse and something else caught her eye. “Hey, does this look like a butt plug?” she said, trying to get someone’s attention. So I went over there to humor her. We talked a little bit about the “butt plug” before she told me she had to go pee and to hold her stuff. So she handed me her phone, which was unlocked, her wallet, and a vape. Me, a random guy she just met, handing me all her valuable stuff, just so she could pee. My friend suggested that I put my number in her phone while she pees, which I didn’t do. But as soon as she comes from the restroom, I hand her back her stuff. Afterwards, my friend was finally done with the three guys and ready to help her. While helping her, she brought up how she just came back from an orgy she was hosting. She said that the reason she had to pee so bad was because she always has to pee after getting fucked. She talked a little bit and soon saw that the store didn’t have what she needed, and decided to leave, but not before telling everyone that she was going to chill in her car for a little bit and listen to some music. Me and my friends' minds were blown by the whole situation and didn’t know what to think of it. But my friend who was helping the girl and managing the store asked us why didn’t we pick up the signs and go to that orgy. But me being the dumb virgin person that I am didn’t pick up on the signs in the moment.

“Hey, I like dicks. I like to suck dicks too. Like really big dicks. Oh yeah, I host an orgy.  And I just got fucked really hard by a dick. Butt plugs! Oh yeah, did I tell you that I like dicks?”

I didn’t pick up on any signs, all I thought was that the girl was crazy and was just talking out of her ass. But maybe what she really was doing was begging for something up her ass? And hell, she was talking to me about butt plugs and trusted me with her valuable belongings. Maybe she wanted to fuck me? But I was too much of an idiot and a virgin to do anything about it. 

I look like Okabe, but be acting like Daru.

And another dumb thing that always scares me about those kinds of situations, is the fact that I always think that it’s some kind of scam. She was too hot of a girl to just want to have sex without anything in return. It had to be some kind of set up. I’ll show up to the orgy and find out that there’s only dudes, and that I’d be the bitch boy who gets fucked. Or worse, I’ll get beat up and robbed when I get there.

I don’t want this shit to happen to me.

But honestly, I believe that I think too hard about these situations sometimes. Why the hell would she want to murder and rob me? She doesn’t even know how much money I have. But it’s just the weirdness of the situation that makes me hesitate. So if I had the chance to redo everything, I would talk to her more and maybe try to get more information about this whole orgy thing, cause in all honestly, I’m just interested in what the fuck she’s doing.

Did you ever have a situation you wanted to redo? Was that girl dropping mad signs? Did you enjoy my story time? Tell us in the comments.