Nutaku asked us to take a look at this game, and here's our opinion.
I thought about doing a holiday special review where I found a Christmas-y game and played it to really match the holiday season. Unfortunately, I already played Snow Daze a while ago, and when I looked at the schedule this review wasn’t planned to come out until after Christmas was over anyway. Once that dream died, I realized I’ve been going through some old Fire Emblem games lately which are super fun, and I wanted to see what strategy games Nutaku had on their website. Was my search for a game that could compare to Fire Emblem on a sex game site dead on arrival? Probably.
Dragon Providence appears near the top of the charts for top rated strategy games on Nutaku’s website. There’s no data on the game’s page regarding the date it was added to the site or really… anything. The developer and publisher are listed as DMM which turns out to be a company straight outta Japan. That’s about all I got for you. Oh wait, did I mention it’s free?
The artstyle kinda varies in some situations. Initially you start out as a boy or girl knight which appear in a hand drawn soft style like you were looking at an illustration from an old book. However once you start collecting cards the girls tend to fade back into the typical bright, clean-cut artstyle that’s popular in a multitude of anime today. Both styles were pretty and nice to stare at, but I wish the hand drawn style stole more of the spotlight as it provided a different style to oogle over than most of these mobile games. Unfortunately, it quickly took a back seat.
The music was average, nothing particularly catchy stood out. I’m writing this a few days after playing and I can’t remember a single track. However, that also means that there were no flat out awful tracks so we’ll call it a mediocre OST and move on.
If you’re looking for some good shit, go ahead and skip ahead to the next section. The gameplay is worthless. It’s supposedly a strategy card battle game, but I never found a hint of real strategy in my time of playing. The game organizes your deck for you, adjusts your sequence of attack for you, and often suggests actions for you. I never encountered a situation where I needed to strategize against the opponent, raid boss or not. Simply clicking attack over and over left me in complete victory every battle. And shit I didn’t go into this hoping for the next Hearthstone but I wanted a little more than… fucking nothing. Long story short, don’t play this game with the intention of building a deck to fight against opponents. Perhaps that comes into play in the late game, but you won’t find a hint of autonomy for several hours. Smashing the “attack” button and watching the same tiny animations will do you just fine.
Did you skip reading about the gameplay? ALRIGHT HELL YES then let’s talk about the real shit: the sex. This game fucking gets it. I want to estimate you get a VOICED (Japanese) , ANIMATED, FULL scene after merely five minutes of stumbling through the tutorial. But wait there’s more! The scenes keep getting thrusted at you as you collect cards (girls) through the gacha system. And they come at you fast! I didn’t grind. I didn’t work hard. I didn’t do shit. I’d say I played the game doing the quest and raid bosses for around two hours, and do you know how many scenes I unlocked? 29. Twenty-nine is how you spell it. Are you fucking kidding me? I sometimes spend an hour wading through a sex game and STILL sit there waiting to experience a scene. And I can play this for two hours and have enough sex leftover to last for three, maybe even four fap sessions? And it’d be one thing if these were shit thrown together to be churned out as fast as possible. But no. The girls are written to have unique personalities that DON’T fade away the second the fucking begins. Some of the rare scenes have animations and voice work. The scenes are fairly lengthy too, and on top of that they strike that nice balance between dialog and descriptions. I have NO complaints for this section at all.
No wasting time, sex is great and frequent, so the game gets a 4/5
“But Kinky! You said you hated the gameplay and that they underutilized a cool art style! How is this not a three!?"
Thanks for asking my man. I’ll tell you. Because the game fulfilled the sex category so well. Normally I have to deduct a lot of points in that section because it either takes way too long to get a scene, or the scenes are written too poorly to where every girl sounds the same, or both. And since I’m reviewing sex games, not typical video games, sex has to be the most important part. Being able to unlock this much well written sex so quickly will land almost any game a 4, regardless of the other elements (barring some second grade level art). Now we just need a game to perform well in the other two categories to get a 5…
Do you like anime sex? Yes? Then play Dragon Providence and get yourself some scenes. Want another game reviewed? Then let me know. Hotel? Trivago.